What’s Next: Moving forward following a Divorce or Separation.
By Kayla Curtis 
23 April 2023 · Read time: 5 minutes
The divorce has been finalised, you've completed the 30 + 1 day wait and your decree nisi is hanging on your wall (framed).
You may find yourself thinking, what now?
The time following a divorce proceeding can be challenging emotionally, and understanding how to best care for yourself and your children can be a challenge.
Being lost in the mundane can cause medical issues like anxiety and depression which may require medical intervention to help manage.
As long as it is safe to manage on your own, here is a list of ways to move forward after a divorce or separation.
Start packing away the wedding memorabilia
Keeping photos and keepsakes of your past relationship on display may seem like a good idea at the time. However, having that constant reminder may cause unwanted heart ache. Get proactive and start packing (or throwing) that stuff away.
Clean and organise your space
Ever heard of the saying clear space, clear mind? Well it works! Get cleaning, and soon you'll have a fresh new house feeling to go along with your fresh new lifestyle. Check out Mari Kondo for some inspiration on how to get your space organised!
Catch up with family and friends and keep active
Separation and divorce can feel lonely at the best of times. Surround yourself with the people who care for you most. Taking a nature walk, grabbing coffee or just watching netflix with the ones you love can help bring a certain peace to many situations. Staying active is not only healthy for your body but has a remarkable impact on your mental health. So why not combine the two and exercise together.
Take an online class
Keeping your mind active can be a challenge especially when you are going through or have just been through a stressful situation. However, learning is not only beneficial for your educational needs but also for your physical health. Expanding your knowledge can help improve your mental health by providing a way for you to learn about what you are passionate about. Love make up, take a make up course, love technology, take a technology course. Do what you love and you'll never feel like you've worked a day in your life.
Engage with community lead initiatives
Being involved with community projects helps foster a belonging between yourself and your community. By serving others, you are providing much needed assistance to those less fortunate than you and this can help boost your mental and overall health. Jay Shetty, best selling author, said it best, some of the world's happiest people, serve others. Check out his podcast “On Purpose” for inspiration and feel good moments.
Take a solo trip to somewhere you have never been before
New beginnings mean new adventures. Book a trip to somewhere you have never been before. This could be somewhere local or on the other side of the world. The last chapter of your life was focused around another individual, now it is your turn.
Feel the sand between your toes, take a walk through mother nature, grab a coffee at a different location, grab your skies and hit the slope. Whichever way you choose, book that leave with work and jet set. Don't forget those destination gifts for your friends and family.
Spend time learning to breathe
Change starts from the inside. Learning how to focus your mind is challenging and can take some time to master. However, start with learning how to breathe. I know, it sounds crazy. I can already hear you saying “I know how to breathe”, but I'm talking about mindful breathing. Relaxation and calmness can come from the simple task of breathing.
Take 20 minutes of your day to focus on your breathing. Whether this is done at a mediation class or in your own time, it can lead to improvement of your overall health.
Learn a new skill
Ever wanted to master the art of painting or crochet? Now is your time. Learning a skill can help to improve your mental health by focusing your attention on the task at hand and not those wandering intrusive thoughts. You may even learn a skill that could generate an income.
Understand that it will take time to heal
Healing from any stressful or traumatic situation takes time. There is no quick fixes when it comes to heartbreak. Learning to adjust and come to terms with your “new” life can take a moment to accept. To answer Chers question in her song “Believe: Do you beehive in life after love”? YES! There is life after love and it can be just as beautiful if not better!
Speak to a professional
Sometimes handling stressful situations or negative emotions is too difficult or not safe to do on our own. Professional help should always be sought if you are struggling. Professionals such as:
- Psychologists,
- Councillors,
- Therapists,
- General Practitioners
- Beyond Blue - 1300224636
- Life Line Australia - 13 11 14.
Everyone needs help from time to time and reaching out to your family, friends and professionals for assistance is the first step in your healing journey.
*Seek professional advice if you are suffering with your mental health. The above article is not advice and should not be relied upon.
